I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong! Like I said I have always used blowjobs as a way of NOT having sex. Guy’s loved it and I felt really good that I was making them feel good. Guys have always hit on me forever and I always said no to cheating. When John suggested that I just blow him it was a natural thing for me as that is what I had always done. It didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong. Then I guess he had told the others and it was Rick who said that the stress in the office was really building up and if they could find a way to relax productivity would increase and he said how at home when his wife blows him he does relax and he feels better. So one thing led to another and the office blowjobs started. Then at the cookouts or Christmas parties some of the guys would suggest I go with them to a room to hook up I just felt like it was routine like at work. It didn’t take long, morale was high, and it never had any effect on our life at home.”“Paula, I need some time. How could one know, after all? What if the actuality appalled? One thing to dream; another to? But now she did know. Knowing also that her chosen road permitted no u-turns. A fact she had found a little scary. That part of her still obdurate in it’s attachment to normality horrified; wanting nothing more than to turn away from the scene she had worked so hard to contrive and return again to the metaphysical haven of personal imagination. The hermetically sealed world of private desire. She recalled reading that fear of the irrevocable was the only true definition of sanity. She also recalled finding that sage. So now, pronouncing herself nerveless, she could draw only one conclusion. And in the drawing felt uncertainty reassert itself. ‘Calm, calm,’ the same inner-voice warned as her eyes closed to conjure up the picture. Her picture. A glade. Backdropped by shimmering sea. Autumnal. Tranquil. Yellow leaves diffusing bright sunlight as a soothing breeze stirred the branches.
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